How to Write a Song About Love

Love is never simply 'Love.' There are always other emotions jumbled up along side it. So start by finding the right words for the emotions you want to convey. For example, you may fear losing this person or you may feel at one with them, or willing to die for them. Next, write down a few details to show the story of how you arrived at these feelings - keep these two sides of song separate.

1. Work Area and Writer's Tools

It's important to set a time when it's appropriate to explore this love, ensure you have:

No distractions

No interruptions

No other plans.

Use a peg board, or the back of a door, or the floor for spreading ideas out so you can see the big picture. Use one sheet of paper for each idea so that they don't get mixed up. This is important because you need to be able to swap things around easily.

Get your tools:

• Dictionary
• Emotional compass
• Thesaurus
• Rhyming dictionary
• Chord diagrams
• Keys and chord patterns
• Song template

All these are essential for song writing because they save you a lot of time.

2. Why You Must Never Overlook Context When Songwriting ?

Context is the circumstances in which the song will be heard and those which caused it's creation. Context can make some easy decisions for you. For example. If you're the opening act of many, you need to be careful about kicking off with a slow love song.

Think also about your other songs too and try to make each one distinct or it'll sound like you've written the same song over and over, and that's really boring for audiences.

If your song is going to performed by you alone at a folk club, there's no point in trying to write an epic soundscape. If you're in a noisy bar, ballad type songs don't go down well unless you've already won over the audience.

With love songs, we mostly associate a ballad in a minor key. Do that first by all means. But also consider the fact that slow, sad songs have less kerb appeal and you won't be able to use it as much as a song that's fast, or punchy.

The point is, the music will convey mood more strongly than words, so think about context. Think about your audience and be prepared to change your mind half way through and rev it up if it needs it.

3. Why Should Songwriters Separate Emotion From the Story ? .

Because songs tend to be series of circles in which a mini episodes of the story is explored. Almost always, a song will then we return to a main emotional theme in a chorus refrain or the end of the song.

From a practical point of view, it makes it easier for the writer to be able to see what story detail you are exploring, and what emotional hook you're returning to.

This shouldn't be too difficult with a love song because the feelings are very likely to be all too clear. But spend a few moments really analysing what you're feeling. Draw it, paint it, do a crappy spider diagram if that's all you can do. Nine times out of ten, you'll discover loads of detail which you hadn't thought of before.

Also, use a thesaurus or emotional compass to generate word options like these.

• Crumble
• Madness
• Vulnerable
• Powerless
• Golden
• Flying
• Everything
• Overwhelmed
• Full
• Numb
• Beloved
• Irresistible
• Confused
• Validated
• Needed
• lost

This might be a seriously emotional experience, but this will help you understand love and help you see how much there is to go at. Above is just a fraction of the terms you will find. Each of these can be used to explore how you feel and build your song around.

Choose half a dozen which really jump out and use each as a heading on a separate piece of paper to explore each feeling. One may be the chorus or refrain or title. Keep ideas on separate pages to stop you becoming overwhelmed and confused.

You've just learned a most important skill, and one which will allow you to write a song about pretty much anything.

You may write a song and perform it without really understanding it, but the emotions will still be there and that's what your song will convey to your own subconscious as well as your listeners'. So doing it this way will work no matter how poor you are at writing words, believe me.

Now, if you haven't already started, you can put some phrases under those headings. They don't have to be beautiful or clever or even songworthy, they just need to mean something to you.

Let's say you just want to explore 'Irresistible.' All we need to do is think about the word 'irresistible,' and what it means personally, how it manifests into action within. Well, then your exploration might look like the following.

'Irresistible'

'I'm unstable - you're irresistible.' ' I resist - but you're irresistible.'

'You're stuck in my head.'

'Like a Moth to a Flame' - a cliche but you can use them in songs.

'You pull me like the moon.'

'Nature's made me mad for you.'

'The gravity of you.'

4. Why Backstory & Detail are so Important in Songwriting.

The backstory is the other side of the coin.

We've explored the emotional crux, now flesh out those with some details which will show how you arrived at 'irresistible.'

These are usually super simple everyday events which you use to drive your listener to the emotional hook. For Example...

• 'Something missing in my life.'
• 'Saw you in the check out line.'
• 'You said you'd be there for me.'
• 'You've always been a good friend.'
• 'Your smile gives me butterflies.'
• 'You took me to a restaurant.'
• 'You held my hand - while I cried.'
• 'I used to dream about you - before we met.'
• 'You taste like bubblegum & wine.'
• 'Your voice melts me like honey, honey.'
• 'You smell like home to me.'
• 'To touch you is like electricity.'
• 'On the beach, I saw you, for the first time, golden skin.'

Notice that there's nothing fancy here. Just simple facts with the inclusion of sensory detail. In a pop song or dance tune, you'd get away with using these as they are.

For anything else, you'd probably need to add a little more detail.

5. How to use the 'L' word.

You may have noticed that I haven't used the word 'Love.' If you're gonna do that you need to be careful because you'll be telling instead of showing. Any pro writer will tell you to that you need to leave a bit to the imagination of the listener, that's what showing is.

I've another article which explains showing and telling here.

If you do want to use the word 'love', one effective way would be to use the songwriter's easiest hack - repetition. Then add a twist by addressing love as if it's a person. This is called 'personification.' For example, the chorus could go something like.

'Love, you're driving me insane.'

Love, I don't think much of your game.'

Love, I'd rather have a panic attack

Love, I want my sanity back'

In this chorus, I've personified 'Love.' Made 'Love' the aggressor when in fact that may not be strictly accurate. But it's a song, so it's perfectly acceptable, even desirable.

Another way is objectify the 'L' word.

Many songwriters have used the word 'Love' as a metaphor/object/entity which describes other human behaviour. This can work really well. An example might be 'Love is a hunter - Love is a thief.' Check out 'The Rose' Or Annie Lennox's 'I want You.'

Another way to focus only on the word 'love' is to name a place or time after it. These are obvious and over used but, there's 'I Live in Lovers Lane Tonight' or 'Moon of Love' or 'Lemon Tree Lover' or '' or '4:00 AM Lost in Love.'

I hope you see that it's important to get to the nub of the feelings you want to convey. Be precise in you descriptions. This is what your listener is going to buy into. It's how your gonna make connections that will last a lifetime.

There may be more than one word which fits how you feel, that's normal. Your aim is to get your listener - to feel those emotions themselves. You do that by sharing the story and letting them join the dots. Think of it like dropping breadcrumbs, rather than hitting them with a banjo.

6. Attitude.

Image courtesy of Jason Rosewell

No matter what a song is about, the music, writer and singer must have attitude. Here's where you get to really show how much power love has over you.

Do you want to drown in it ? Do you fear losing it ? If you could, what would you do to hold on to your Love. Ask what you did to deserve it. Who's to blame etc ? Dwell upon that feeling until it grows and consumes you.

Attitude is almost entirely the music and presentation. Here's where you choose if your love song is gonna focus on fear, anger, rapture, etc. Or if you're going to make a confusing statement by putting a happy tune over dark lyrics.

So this is where we really should put some music around that attitude - nothing fancy - just bash out a couple of ideas to see if anything sticks. Feel the injustice and demonstrate it musically. This should not be a verse. More likely a refrain or chorus or hook because this is probably the high point of the song, the bit that really matters.

I guarantee, if you get your attitude nailed, the rest of the song will write itself.

7. Mind Map & Doodle.

I've already suggested you doodle a mind map around whatever feelings you have. Now's the time to flesh that out a little more. Include pieces of story, the day, the season, the weather, the five senses is also a reliable frame work.

Make comparisons. Ask why and how you arrived at this point. Draw pictures, free write short bursts or captions. Include anything and everything because this is where you might stumble upon that killer hook or phrase which becomes your title. Fast and loose is the way to proceed.

8. Highlight your Hook or Title or Refrain or Chorus.

While you're doing all this, THIS IS IMPORTANT, anything that catches your imagination is the idea to follow.

Even if you're not sure about it, especially if you're not sure about it. Don't limit yourself, be free because one of those ideas is going to make a great hook or title or refrain or chorus. Make sure you highlight it or set it to one side.

Even if you have to start all over again, far better to get caught up in something you love than be lumbered with something you think you 'ought' to write.

9. Use your instrument.

What ever your word or hook or phrase is, sing it out like you really mean it. Use your instrument to find a rhythm. Sing it high in pitch like it's the main part of the song - because it probably is. Let your soul pour out into the silence and paint it with your emotions.

The melody may well be hidden in your attitude. Spit the words out like they're gonna hit something and the expression will help you find how you should be singing it. This will help you get a melody.

This works for power ballads too. Try it.

10. Choose a Developing Method

Don't worry if you don't have an epic yet. If you only have an idea or a short phrase about the what you're trying to illustrate, that's exactly where you should be.

The key to being able to write a song about love is realising that the hardest work is identifying the nub. You may simply call it 'love', but what is it about his love ? That's the question that will take you to heat of your song.

Now that you've identified that, choose how your gonna write this outstanding song. It will depend on your personality. You could....

1. 1. Write it as a poem.
2. 2. Tell the story long hand in prose - then pick out the juicy bits.
3. 3. Use an instrument to guide the ebb and flow of it.
4. 4. Use a song template and fill the blocks.
5. 5. Blurt out unconnected random phases.
6. 6. Work with another writer who's skills compliments yours.

It makes no difference and there's no right or wrong approach, you just have to follow what feels right. If it makes you feel better, it's great. If it makes you cry, then it's brilliant.

11. One subject per verse.

Each verse should focus on one event, one chapter in the story. It should explore only that and not wander into other unrelated areas or go back over old stuff. Yes, return to the hook or the emotional hub, but be careful mixing events and perspectives, you'll confuse your audience.

You might wanna break your verses into days of the week or seasons or explore one of the key words you found earlier. Each should be more intense than the last, more twisted, more enraptured so that the song builds to a that point which cannot be resolved, and doesn't meander into yawn.

12.Does it make sense ? Does it have to ?

Providing you don't include you're careful with mixed perspective - songs don't always have to make logical or literal sense. They only have to make emotional sense. A nice melody, a moving chorus and some well chosen phrases are often enough to achieve that.

By and large, it's better if songs do make sense because it commands respect and demonstrates respect for your audience. With love songs, it's often about confusion so don't worry about being vague. The chances are, it'll be reflective so your audiences will buy into your state of confusion, 'your inability to grasp.'

13.Rinse and repeat

Image courtesy of Priscilla-du-preez

Once you get enough material, and providing you can see it all before you, a pattern or a logical sequence will jump out at you. If not, you just need to keep jiggling things round until it sort of seems OK.

You'll probably have to keep playing it over and over for a bit. And this where you'll need to see the big picture so you can move stuff around. You might find bits won't leave alone and will keep tugging at you, waking you up in the middle of the night. That always happens and it's either because they're very 'right' or very 'wrong.'

Whilst doing this, your tune and chords will become more obvious because the song will tell you how it's supposed to go, seriously it will.

14. leave it to cure and mature.

Once you've finished, it's important to leave the song alone for at least a week. The reason for this is because every song you write will seem like the most outstanding song anybody has ever written.

That maybe true, but it's best to be sure before you unleash it. So don't look at it or play it or think about it and if you find yourself humming that hook, put the damn thing out of your mind.

That's easier said than done, especially if it's a good song. When you come back to it and it still feels good, then you'll know it's good enough, and that's good enough.

Checklist to Really keep Your Songwriting Organized.

1. 1. Work area and Writing Tools.
2. 2. Consider Context - Don't Overlook it.
3. 3. Separate the Emotion from the Story.
4. 4. Scribble Backstory and detail.
5. 5. How You Use the 'Love' Word.
6. 6. Attitude.
7. 7. Mind Map and Doodle.
8. 8. Identify with your Hook or Title or Refrain or Chorus.
9. 9. Use your instrument.
10. 10. Choose a Method for Developing.
11. 11. One subject per verse.
12. 12.Does it make sense ? Does it have to ?
13. 13.Rinse and repeat - return to beginning of the process and tighten it up.
14. 14. leave to cure and mature.