How to Write a Song About Heartbreak

Start by finding the right words for the emotions you want to convey. Songs about heartbreak can be easy or difficult to write depending on how personally involved you are. There's a double edged sword thing going, because writing the song is probably the best type of healing you can get. But it also requires getting to the root of emotions which are still raw. If you can easily identify and put words to those emotions, it'll make your task much easier.

1. Work Area and Writer's Tools

It's important to set a time when it's appropriate to explore this heartache, ensure you have:

no distractions

no interruptions

no other plans.

Use a peg board, or the back of a door, or the floor for spreading ideas out so you can see the big picture. Use one sheet of paper for each idea so that they don't get mixed up. This is important because you need to be able to swap things around easily.

Get your tools:

• Dictionary
• Emotional compass
• Thesaurus
• Rhyming dictionary
• Chord diagrams
• Keys and chord patterns
• Song template

All these are essential for song writing because they save you a lot of time.

2. What about context ?

Context is the circumstances in which the song will be heard and those which caused it's creation. Context can make some decisions for you. For example. If you're the opening act of many, you need to be careful about kicking off with a slow heartbreak number. Think about your other songs too and try to make each one distinct or it'll sound like you've written the same song over and over, and that's really boring for audiences.

If your song is going to performed by you alone at a folk club, there's no point in trying to write an angry tub thumper. If you're in a noisy bar, ballad type songs don't go down well unless you've already won over the audience.

With a song about heartbreak, everyone's first inclination is to pen a ballad in a minor key. Do that first by all means. Especially if it's very personal and raw because that will help you psychologically. But also consider the fact that slow, sad songs have less kerb appeal and you won't be able to use it as much as a song that's fast, angry or punchy. The point is, the music will convey mood more strongly than words, so think about context. Think about your audience and be prepared to change your mind half way through and rev it up if it needs it.

3. Separate emotion from the story.

This shouldn't be too difficult when the song is about heartbreak because the feelings are very likely to be all too clear. But spend a few moments really analysing what you're feeling. Draw it, paint it, do a crappy spider diagram if that's all you can do. Nine times out of ten, you'll reach the center of where the conflict resides. This is where the heartache does it's work. It's usually a difference which cannot be resolved, a separation which cannot be healed, or a loss which cannot be replaced.

Then, use a thesaurus or emotional compass to generate word options like these.

• Loss
• Lonely
• Vulnerable
• Powerless
• Grief
• Despair
• Empty
• Overwhelmed
• Worthless
• Numb
• Betrayed
• Resentful
• Confused
• Angry
• Resentful
• Bitter

This might be a painful experience, but this will help you understand that pain. Above is just a fraction of the terms you will find. Each of these can be used to explore how you feel and build your song around.

Choose half a dozen which really jump out and use each as a heading on a separate piece of paper to explore each feeling. One may be the chorus or refrain. Another may be a verse or bridge. Keep feelings and ideas on separate pages or you will just get confused.

You've just learned a most important skill, and one which will allow you to write a song about pretty much anything. You may write a song and perform it without really understanding it, but the emotions will still be there and that's what your song will convey to your own subconscious as well as your listeners'. So doing it this way will work no matter how poor you are at writing words, believe me.

Now, if you haven't already started, you can put some phrases under those headings. They don't have to be beautiful or clever or even songworthy, let's say you just want to explore 'Loss.' Well, then your exploration might look like this.

'LOSS'

What have I lost ? - A piece of me - 'You took a piece of me'

How does it affect me not having it ? - I'm empty - 'You took the middle out of me'

What do I want to change ? - I want it back - 'I want my middle back'

But it's never coming back is it ? - 'I can't face life without it'

So what's left ? - A shell - 'I'm an empty shell'

Also, don't forget to make notes of the time and place of certain events because a good way to start a song or a story is to give it a setting. You could also use the events leading up to the break point, commonly called 'backstory.' ' You may have noticed that I haven't used the word 'heartbreak.' If you're gonna do that you need to be careful because you'll be telling instead of showing. Any pro will tell you to that you need to leave a bit to the imagination of the listener, that's what showing is.

If you do want to use the word 'heartache', one way might be to repeat it. For example, the chorus could go something like.

'Heartbreak, you took the best of me

Heartbreak, I'm just an empty shell can't you see ?

Heartbreak, Can't face this empty track

Heartbreak, I want my heartbreak maker back'

In this chorus, I've almost personified 'heartbreak.' Made 'Heartbreak' the aggressor when in fact that may not be strictly accurate. But it's a song, so it's perfectly acceptable, even desirable.

Another way to focus only on the word 'heartbreak' is to name a place or time after it. Apart from the obvious, there's 'Heartbreak Hill' or 'Heartbreak Tree' or 'Heartbreak Season' or '4:00 AM Heartbreak.'

Lastly, use it or one of its derivatives as an adjective which describes the person who 'done you wrong.' For example: 'Heartache Tony' or 'Heartache Caroline.'

You could take this further and build the whole song around the idea of 'Heartbreak' but be careful you don't overlook all the people and losses and other feelings which caused the heartbreak. Ask yourself, 'is this feeling really about heartbreak or is heartbreak just a word to describe lots of other emotions ?'

I hope you see that it's important to get to the nub of the feelings you want to convey. Be precise. This is what your gonna build your story around. This is what your listener is going to buy into. It's how your gonna make connections that will last a lifetime.

There may be more than one word which fits how you feel, that's normal. Just don't overuse those words in the song because it's often too blunt. Your aim is to get your listener - which will most likely be you - to feel those emotions themselves. You do that by sharing the story and letting them join the dots. Think of it like dropping breadcrumbs, rather than hitting them with a banjo.

4. Attitude.

Image courtesy of Jason Rosewell No matter what a song is about, the music, writer and singer must have attitude. Here's where you get to really show how much it hurts. If you could, what would you do about your heartbreak. Ask what you did to deserve it. Who's to blame etc ? What could you have done to avoid it ? Dwell upon that feeling until it grows and consumes you.

Attitude is almost entirely the music and presentation. Here's where you choose if your heartbreak song is gonna focus on anger or loss or if you're going to make it a positive statement by putting a happy tune over dark lyrics.

So this is where we really should put some music around that attitude - nothing fancy - just bash out a couple of ideas to see if anything sticks. Feel the injustice and demonstrate it musically. This should not be a verse. More likely a refrain or chorus or hook because this is probably the high point of the song, the bit that really matters.

I guarantee, if you get your attitude nailed, the rest of the song will write itself.

5. Mind map doodle around 3 & 4.

I've already suggested you doodle a mind map around whatever feelings you have that's causing the heartbreak. Now's the time to flesh that out a little more. Include pieces of story, the day, the season, the weather. Make comparisons. Ask why and how you arrived at this point. Draw pictures, free write short bursts or captions. Include anything and everything because this is where you might stumble upon that killer hook or phrase which becomes your title. Fast and loose is the way to proceed.

6. Highlight your Hook or Title or Refrain or Chorus.

While you're doing all this, anything that catches your imagination is the idea to follow. Even if you're not sure about it, especially if you're not sure about it. Don't limit yourself, be free because one of those ideas is going to make a great hook or title or refrain or chorus. Make sure you highlight it or set it to one side.

7. Use your instrument.

What ever your word or hook or phrase is, sing it out like you really mean it. Use your instrument to find a rhythm. Sing it high in pitch like it's the main part of the song - because it probably is. Let your soul pour out into the silence and paint it with your emotions.

The melody may well be hidden in your attitude. Spit the words out like they're gonna hit something and the expression will help you find how you should be singing it. This will help you get a melody.

This works for power ballads too. Try it.

8. Choose a method

Don't worry if you don't have an epic yet. If you only have an idea or a short phrase about the heart of the conflict which you're trying to illustrate, that's exactly where you should be. The key to being able to write a song about heartbreak is realising that the hardest work is identifying the nub. That conflict which can't be resolved that it hurts so bad.

Now that you've identified that, choose how your gonna write this outstanding song. It will depend on your personality. You could:

1. 1. Write it as a poem.
2. 2. Tell the story long hand in prose - then pick out the juicy bits.
3. 3. Use an instrument to guide the ebb and flow of it.
4. 4. Use a song template and fill the blocks.
5. 5. Blurt out unconnected random phases.
6. 6. Work with another writer who's skills compliments yours.

It makes no difference and there's no right or wrong approach, you just have to follow what feels right. If it makes you feel better, it's great. If it makes you cry, then it's brilliant.

9. One subject per verse.

Each verse should focus on one event, one chapter in the story. It should explore only that and not wander into other unrelated areas or go back over old stuff.

You might wanna break your verses into days of the week or seasons or explore one of the key words you found earlier. Each should be more intense than the last, more twisted, more heartbreaking so that the song builds to a that point which cannot be resolved, and doesn't meander into yawn.

10.Does it make sense ? Does it have to ?

Songs don't always have to make logical or literal sense. They only have to make emotional sense. A nice melody, a moving chorus and some well chosen phrases are often enough to achieve that.

By and large, it's better if songs do make sense because it commands respect and demonstrates respect for your audience. But with heartbreak, it's often about confusion so don't worry about being vague. The chances are it'll be reflective so your audiences will buy into your state of confusion, 'your inability to grasp.'

11.Rinse and repeat

Image courtesy of Priscilla-du-preez Once you get enough material, and providing you can see it all before you, a pattern or a logical sequence will jump out at you. If not, you just need to keep jiggling things round until it sort of seems OK.

You'll probably have to keep playing it over and over for a bit. And this where you'll need to see the big picture so you can move stuff around. You might find bits won't leave alone and will keep tugging at you, waking you up in the middle of the night. That always happens and it's either because they're very 'right' or very 'wrong.'

Whilst doing this, your tune and chords will become more obvious because the song will tell you how it's supposed to go, seriously it will.

12. leave it to cure and mature.

Once you've finished, it's important to leave the song alone for at least a week. The reason for this is because every song you write will seem like the most outstanding song anybody has ever written. That maybe true, but it's best to be sure before you unleash it. So don't look at it or play it or think about it and if you find yourself humming that hook, put the damn thing out of your mind.

That's easier said than done, especially if it's a good song. When you come back to it and it still feels good, then you'll know it's finished.

Checklist to Really keep Your Songwriting Organized.

1. 1. Work area and Writing Tools.
2. 2. Consider context now.
3. 3. Separate the emotion from the story.
4. 4. Attitude.
5. 5. Mind map a doodle around 3 & 4.
6. 6. Identify with your Hook or Title or Refrain or Chorus.
7. 7. Use your instrument.
8. 8. Choose a method.
9. 9. One subject per verse.
10. 10.Does it make sense ? Does it have to ?
11. 11.Rinse and repeat.
12. 12. leave to cure and mature.