How to Fix a Broken Heart With Song

To fix a broken heart, it helps if you can understand which emotions are hurting and why. Exploring the trauma with the intention of explaining it to another person is a great way to do this, because it ensures we focus on what's really important and what is relatable and tangible in an otherwise confusing fog.

How to Understand the Heartbreak Healing Process

The Heartbreak Process is very similar to grief or loss. We go through several stages in our recovery, all have which have a strong emotions. We might feel them in any order - all at once or skip quite a few of them. So your heartbreak might feature any of these.

1. 1. Shock
2. 2. Denial
3. 3. Pain
4. 4. Guilt
5. 5. Anger
6. 6. Bargaining
7. 7. Depression
8. Work Through
8. 9. Reconstruction
9. 10. Acceptance

The song writing process is great for revisiting your experience because songs are the sound of emotion. So re-organising those feelings into a coherent story that another person can understand and sympathize is the wonderful for making sense of it all.

It's the exact same reason why students write essays. Simply because when we're forced to explain something to another person, we must first understand it for ourselves.

Just to labour the point. Ever wondered why therapists like their clients to talk a lot. Before you verbalise a sentence about something, your mind must have something half sensible to impart, and it must therefore have done a quick mini analysis of things before you're able to explain it aloud.

Very often, in therapy and song writing, we'll go headlong down a blind alley which leads to an untidy or wrong conclusion. In a song that's fine. It can be thrashed about, hit and punched and laid bare for examination. If it's of no value to us we can then discard it and we know we don't have to think about that any more. That, in itself is useful.

But the really good stuff comes when we learn something about our heartbreak which, for example, identifies our sense of shock.

Because now we can explore that shock and put some simple phrases to it. We might discover some of the following

1. 1. I'm not ready.
2. 2. You fooled me.
3. 3. Just ignore it.
4. 4. This can't be real.
5. 5. My world is gone.
6. 6. Can't believe what just happened
7. 7. I am numb
8. 8. Floating
9. 9. Falling
10. 10. Twisted inside.
11. 11. Can't concentrate.

Yes, there are elements of denial in there too. Emotional trauma often has several elements working together. But you can see that once we have a few simple phrases, being able to describe those feelings and elaborate on them helps express ourselves - and that's a major source of self healing.

Again, the very fact that you're trying to present your emotional conflicts to another will help you understand the circumstances which led to your hurt, and the complexities of the loss which is now causing such grief.

Through understanding we gain knowledge and become wiser and more compassionate human beings. It's always super, super helpful to direct this compassion towards ourselves because it's great for learning how to process heartbreak healthily.

How Songwriting Fixes Broken Hearts

Even though heartbreaks can be devastating, and hard to unravel. The odd phrase in a diary here and there can become a valuable part of the healing process, even if it appears to make no sense at the time.

It also gets problems out of your head. This is really helpful because the mind chatter will be less intense and you can stop mulling it over and over when it's safely stored on paper. It can remain there waiting for you to come back and deal with later, if you want to.

You may also notice patterns in your writing. You may keep coming back to a phrase or a memory or one moment which defines what you've lost or can't come to terms with.

Those patterns are pure gold when it comes to both healing and writing. Those nuggets are the heart and soul of what you're struggling with. And it's they which should be your song title or chorus or refrain because they define your turmoil. And it's they which you know need the most attention.

So for now, I'll continue exploring the sense of shock.

I like the phrases 'I'm numb,' 'can't concentrate,' 'my world is gone.' I like these because for me they best describe my feelings. And you should do that too - rather than think about clever lyrics - just think about plain, simple words which accurately describe how you feel now.

I reckon that 'My world is gone' would make a good refrain or title for a song so I'm gonna explore and play with that.

As soon as I do that. I'm struck by how much I had invested in this person. How much they gave to me which I took for granted. And that gives me another list of words and emotions to explore.

1. 1. Always smiled.
2. 2. My island in a storm.
3. 3. Part of me.
4. 4. Trusted you.
5. 5. Made me laugh.
6. 6. Told me when I was being stupid.
7. 7. Drove 200 miles to Help me with my car.
8. 8. Don't know how to be now.
9. 9. You drank my last beer at new year.

This list could go on and on. Easy to see why anyone would be heartbroken to lose all this. These are valuable human traits and experiences which help explain the sense of loss. We are social animals, we do better and have richer lives when we receive help from others and so loss hurts.

You could ask further question, such as, 'how do I replace you ?' 'why do I need you ?' You could make assertions, such as, 'there'll never be another you,' 'I can't go on without you.'

But, what should be obvious, is that I'm no longer stuck in my shock. I may still be numb inside and I may feel all twisted, but I am sort of concentrating. I am functioning in-so-much-as I'm able to verbalize my grief.

It's not easy. But it feels comforting to share with the page in front of me what this person means.

Why Sharing Your Heartbreak Fixes It.

You many never finish your heartbreak song, you may never perform it nor tell anyone of its existence. It's surprising how many 'half written poems' are lying around in draws which are actually quite good.

But if you do share, even with just one person. The act of sharing does several things all at once.

1. 1. Validates your loss.
2. 2. Validates your state of mind.
3. 3. Validates your healthy attitude.
4. 4. Validates you as person.
5. 5. Vastly increases the respect you command from others.
6. 6. Makes you better understood by others.
7. 7. Moves you away from your trauma.

Those who hear your song or poem will be far more responsive towards you for they rest of your life. They will understand you better because you've shared the experience with them. You've bared your soul in a way which is superior and more direct than everyday speech.

Believe me, this is quite difficult because it makes you extremely vulnerable. Bit it also gives you a gentle magic power. Because you've demonstrated you have guile, compassion, insight, and guts and you're not afraid to show emotion. It also shows you have a healthy attitude to your 'stuff.'

This is extremely empowering because. You see, the song isn't just about your sadness, it's about there's too and in sharing you form a bond with people which is beyond normal. You'll know it and they'll know it.

Summary

You should write a heartbreak song because it helps you understand your emotions. It also helps you recover from them. And if you share it with others, it also helps them and your relationship with them.

But most of all, you should write your heartbreak song because ultimately, it will help make you happier.